Kokoro Kara
by Lady Callista
Summary: Set immediately after the Enishi arc, this is the story of how Kenshin recovered from that ordeal, and how him and Kaoru ended up getting married. K&K, lemon
1. Yume

**Kokoro Kara**

By Lady Callista

AN: No, I didn't die, I just haven't had time to write. Here's my newest RK idea, I hope people like it. Set immediately after the end of the Enishi arc, but before the end of the series, this fic is based on the manga and the way things happened there. Because of that, I realize some people who are only familiar with the anime may have issues, let me know if you do and I'll summarize the Enishi arc or anything else I reference that you don't know.

I don't speak Japanese (although I'm slowly learning), yet I've done my best to research the words I've used, and to use them properly, or as they are used in the anime-manga. If I've used anything incorrectly please let me know, but please tell me why it's wrong and suggest a better option if you have one. Just saying it's wrong or I'm stupid doesn't help any. There is a glossary at the end of each chapter.

I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think of this story. Feedback always makes me write faster.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. If anyone knows of one that actually belongs to someone please let me know. The few that are by famous people I've said who they're by.

Chapter 1: Yume

_OrOoRoOrOoRo_

"_It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch."_

_OrOoRoOrOoRo_

"But…I want to stay with you forever…"

Kenshin froze at Kaoru's softly spoken words. He knew a look of shock was on his face, but couldn't help it, as his mind was running about a mile a minute. Although she could be outspoken about many things, he'd never imagined she'd find the courage to say something like that to him. And his troubled soul almost refused to believe that anyone could say that to him at all. He slowly turned and walked back towards her.

She looked as shocked as he was, a part of his mind noticed. As if she hadn't meant to say it. Not like she didn't mean it, but like it had just slipped out. He also saw nervousness on her face, and knew whatever he said next would be important.

"Sessha…" Kenshin started, then realized that for something this special, he couldn't think of himself as less than her. "Watashi wa…"

"I'm sorry. It was nothing. Forget it. Now is the time…" Kaoru's face had turned bright red, and she grabbed at his arm, pulling him back towards the dojo as she continued to babble. He didn't hear her words though, he was busy wondering if he should tell her the truth, that he wanted to stay with her forever too, or if he should just let it go. He decided in the few seconds he had on the middle ground, not sure if he was ready to tell her the full truth but knowing it would eat away at her if he didn't say anything.

He reached out, putting the hand she wasn't pulling him along by on her shoulder, then slowly stepping up and sliding that arm around her shoulders. Other than the one time he'd hugged her, it was the closest he'd ever been to her in this way. She froze and went silent as he spoke quietly. "Do you remember…when returning to Tokyo from the battle in Kyoto, sessha said 'It's good to be home?' That is the first time those words have been said since becoming a rurouni."

Kaoru seemed to take that in, and smiled, her shoulders slowly relaxing from the stiffness they had sprung to the instant he touched her in such an intimate way. "Is that right?"

Kenshin smiled at her, knowing she understood what he was trying to say, and kept his arm around her as they started walking again. "Hai, it is."

They walked slowly down the road, not talking, just enjoying each other's closeness. Then, in an instant, fog welled up on the road, blinding Kenshin. Kaoru suddenly vanished from beneath his arm, and though he called and called, he couldn't find her.

OoOoO

"Kaoru-san." Megumi said quietly as she exited the room Kenshin was sleeping in.

Kaoru hurried over from the assembled group to the doctor's side. "Nani?"

"He's sleeping, and he'll be okay, but I thought you might want to sit with him. He keeps calling your name, and I think he's having nightmares, but with the drugs I had to give him he won't wake up for at least an hour or so." Megumi said quietly.

"And I should be the first person he sees when he wakes up." Kaoru said quickly. "Megumi-san, why are…" Although she wanted nothing more than to rush in and see Kenshin, she couldn't help but wonder why Megumi was being nice to her. Megumi was never nice to her.

"Just go sit with him, girl." Megumi said impatiently. "Everything else can wait."

The snap in the doctor's voice sounded much more normal to Kaoru than her kind words a moment earlier had been, and Kaoru nodded and walked into the room.

Megumi walked over to the rest of the group. "He'll be fine, although it's a miracle he survived. His body was so weakened from the time in the Fallen Village…"

"We haven't mentioned that to Jou-chan." Sano replied quickly.

"That's probably a good idea." Megumi replied. "I don't think anyone should tell her anything. We should leave that up to Ken-san."

OoOoO

"Would you like some tea, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked as he knelt down beside her on the porch of the dojo late one night, tea tray already in hand.

"That would be wonderful, thank you." Kaoru smiled, reaching out to pour the tea for both of them.

"Sessha was worried you would catch a chill sitting out here." Kenshin said as he accepted the cup she offered him, heart stuttering a little as their hands brushed.

"I was going to come in soon." Kaoru smiled over his concern. "I was just watching the stars."

"And did you find one to wish on yet?" Kenshin asked, remembering her wistful expression when he'd first seen her out here.

"Not yet." Kaoru replied. "I'm not sure what I'd wish for anyway."

"Well, what do you want?" He asked simply, turning his head from where he'd also been gazing up at the heavens to see her face.

He turned just in time to see her gazing wistfully, not at the stars but at his face, before her cheeks went red and she looked down at her hands. "Ara…well…lots of things I guess."

Keeping his eyes on her face, he said quietly, "I wish for many things as well, but some are more important to me than others."

Her eyes widened slightly as she glanced up and caught him looking at her.

And then the world went black. And Kaoru was gone.

Kenshin faltered in the darkness, unable to find her. "Kaoru. KAORU!" And then he stumbled over something, and the light came back just enough for him to see her body, a sword sticking out of it, and a sadistic cross carved into her face. He screamed her name again, knowing she would never again answer him.

OoOoO

"Kenshin, please wake up." Kaoru whispered, tears sliding down her face as she watched over him. She gripped one of his hands tightly in her own, and couldn't take her eyes off of him. He seemed paler, weaker, than he had before she'd been kidnapped. Not just the scars from the battle, not just the new wounds, but something about him seemed broken down.

Then she realized what was wrong. His kenki was missing. She'd seen him sleep before, and even when he was on Megumi's drugs his aura still sparked around him. But it was completely gone now. What had happened while she was missing to cause him to be this broken?

OoOoO

Minutes became hours, became a day, became days, and still Kenshin sat. His sakabato rested against the wall next to him, bound with a chain by his own hand. People came and went, but except for the few times his friends dropped by all the people in the village left him alone. Which was all he wanted. He just wanted to rest in peace.

Yet peace was one thing he would never find.

He'd loved only two women in his life, and now both of them were dead. And they were both dead because of him. That was the one thing he couldn't let go of. He'd vowed to protect both of them, and they'd died. He'd told Kaoru once that with his one sword, he could protect the people around him. He'd said that was enough, and it really had been.

Yet if he'd never come back to Tokyo after going to Kyoto to fight Shishio, if he'd left the Kamiya dojo like he'd said he was going to and become a wanderer again, then Kaoru would not be dead. He'd given up satsujin-ken because he couldn't stand to kill even one more person, and now he had. He'd killed the one person that mattered most in his life.

And in losing her, had lost his faith in katsujin-ken. One of the first things that had drawn him to her, other than the fact that she was willing to forgive that he'd been the Battousai, was that her father's sword school taught exactly what he now wanted to do.

Protect. Defend. Don't kill.

But that was pointless now. If he couldn't even protect the one person most important to him, it didn't matter what else he did. He had lost faith in the future. He had lost faith in everything.

Because without her, nothing meant anything.

_OrOoRoOrOoRo_

"_How can we move on when the only thing we wanted for the future is in the past?"_

OrOoRoOrOoRo 

TBC….

AN2: Okay, so that was a depressing note to end on, sorry. But I really liked the idea of going back a bit and describing what I think Kenshin was feeling at various points before and during the Enishi arc. Oh, and yes, I made the middle dream up. The first one I'm sure you recognized if you've read the manga, and the last is certainly impossible to forget, but I couldn't remember another cute, kinda romantic one, so I just made one up.

The next parts will be somewhat happier, and yes, this is eventually going to be a KK fic.

Next part will be out in a few days. Feedback makes me happy.

_Glossary of Japanese/English words: (in order by the first time the word is used)_

_Kokoro Kara: A phrase meaning "from the bottom of one's heart" (at least according to my dictionary)_

_Yume: Dream_

_Sessha : A very humble way samurai spoke of themselves. Translated in the English manga as "this one." (whenever the manga has Kenshin call himself 'this one' the word he's using is sessha.) It's a word used instead of simply saying "I;" at some points the verb tense matches so that he could simple be saying I, in others it doesn't. In the series, Kenshin almost always refers to himself this way, except when he's being the Battousai._

_Watashi wa: The polite form of "I." Kenshin normally uses "Boku," a more rough, masculine "I", when he's Battousai, but I choose the more polite one because he's speaking to Kaoru. I'm not sure which one the manga used in the original Japanese._

_Rurouni: wandering samurai, a word created for the series_

_Hai: Yes_

_-san: Mrs., Mr., or Ms., this is the form friends use when addressing each other_

_Nani?: What? _

_Jou-chan: Little miss, Sano's nickname for Kaoru (josei, which is where I assume jou came from, means girl or woman, and –chan is a suffix meaning little, normally used with pets, very young children, or young girls)_

_-dono: Kenshin's overly polite way of addressing women. It was most commonly used to address a liege lord or lady, and shows both humbleness and respect._

_Ara: Oh, or um. Used primarily by women, I've heard it said that this is where the author of RK got the idea for Kenshin's oro._

_Kenki: Swordsman's spirit, something only the strongest of warriors have. Kenshin's causes leaves around him to snap, as does Yahiko's, and Shishio's caused flames to shoot up from any available source of fire._

_Sakabato: reverse-blade sword, the symbol of Kenshin's vow to never kill again_

_Satsujin-ken: The manga translates it as "swords that give death," which is an apt description as satsujin means murderer and ken means sword. So literally this would be "murderer sword." It's what all the older styles of swordsmanship are, including Kenshin's Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu._

_Katsujin-ken: The manga translates it as "swords that protect." I'm not sure where the word protect comes from, as katsu means "gain victory" and I couldn't find katsujin in my dictionary, but "swords that gain victory" wouldn't be too bad either, as that can be done without killing. Kamiya Kasshin-Ryu is the only style in the series that falls into this category._


	2. Itami

**Kokoro Kara**

_By Lady Callista_

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. If anyone knows of one that actually belongs to someone please let me know. The few that are by famous people I've said who they're by.

Chapter 2: Itami

_OrOoRoOrOoRoOro_

"_A teardrop is insignificant in a pool of water, __but it can touch the soul as it runs down someone's face."_

_OrOoRoOrOoRoOro_

"He hasn't woken up yet?" Megumi asked softly as she walked into Kenshin's bedroom, where Kaoru still sat at Kenshin's side.

"No, not yet." Kaoru whispered, misery evident on her face. "But it seems dreams are haunting him so. I wish he would wake." She replied, the stress of the last hour showing in her movements as she turned to face the doctor.

Kenshin's dreams seemed to have been getting progressively worse, for although he moved very little he'd been calling out more and more, and his face was a study in despair and pain.

"Megumi-san…" Kaoru began hesitantly as the kitsune started checking Kenshin's wounds.

"Hai?" The older woman stopped her ministrations and turned her attention on Kaoru.

"Why does he seem so broken?" Kaoru whispered. "It's not just from the fight. And why does he seem to be having such nightmares? Why is he calling out to me? He found me, he saved me, so why doesn't he remember that in his dreams?"

Megumi's face took on a look Kaoru couldn't describe, and she turned back to examining Kenshin. "That should be for him to tell you when he awakens." Megumi said after a few moments had gone by in silence.

"You won't tell me what happened?" Kaoru asked in disbelief. No matter how Megumi had treated her, she'd always been clear and precise when it came to the health of others, particularly if that health was Kenshin's.

Megumi's face actually took on the saddest look Kaoru had ever seen. "It should be for Ken-san to tell you. Believe me, you'll understand once you hear it. Coming from another it would…well, it wouldn't be the same." Megumi replied, then hesitantly added, "He would hate that I knew this, yet alone that I said it, but it was impossible to not see how much he loves you. Even if he can't say it, even if he never acknowledges it or acts like it, never forget that he loves you. That may be all that gets him through this."

Kaoru turned to fully face Megumi, wanting to ask what she meant by that, but the kitsune had already left the room. And unknown to Kaoru, she'd left because the tears were already running down her face. Although she'd accepted long ago that Kenshin was meant for Kaoru, it still hurt the doctor's heart to realize that no one felt about her the way Ken-san did about Kaoru. Perhaps no one ever would…

Kaoru turned back so that she was again looking at Kenshin, and again took up his left hand in both of hers, as his right one was so badly wounded Megumi had put it in a sling. Her thoughts were flying by. It was her greatest hope that Kenshin would love her one day, and she'd wondered for months now if he did, at least a little. Certainly he liked her and considered her a friend, that was obvious, but to hear that it was apparent he loved her….and from Megumi of all people… Kaoru didn't know what to think. How long she knelt, considering just that, she didn't know, but her thoughts came to a screeching halt when she suddenly felt a flare of Kenshin's kenki. She looked up at his face just as his eyes opened and he yelled her name.

"I'm here, Kenshin." She said quickly, rising up on her knees and leaning over him so that he could see her without moving. "I'm right here. Everything is okay."

The panic left Kenshin's eyes, and he reached up with the hand she had just released and ran his fingers down her left cheek. Her eyes grew wide at the touch, not because she objected to it but because he'd never touched her in this way before.

"You're all right." Kenshin whispered half to himself, eyes closing in relief, although his fingers stayed on her cheek, his palm tilting slightly until he almost cupped her face in his hand.

Kaoru's eyes grew even wider at the caress, and she unthinkingly tilted her face until her cheek rested fully in his hand.

Kenshin's eyes snapped open and locked with hers for a moment before he moved his hand away from her, letting it rest on the futon as he looked around the room. "How did sessha get home?"

Kaoru looked around the familiar room of his bedroom at her dojo, taking a moment to both relish that he'd called it home, and regret that he'd dropped his hand. "You collapsed right after the fight with Enishi." In my arms, she wanted to say, but didn't. "We got you back on the boat and it took us home. We've been back for about half a day. Megumi fixed you and everyone else up, and you're going to be fine."

"Did you see anyone in town?" Kenshin asked quietly.

"Ana, no." Kaoru replied, confused as to why he would ask that. "It wasn't yet dawn when we returned, so we saw no one."

His eyes shut again. "Then you don't know, because no one in our group would have told you."

"Know what, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, sitting back down on her legs and almost reaching for his hand before she realized that now that he was awake, she shouldn't do that.

"What Enishi's jinchu against me really was."

"What do you mean, what it really was?" Kaoru asked. "He kidnapped me, he took me away from you just as Tomoe-san was taken away from him."

"Hai, just as Tomoe was taken away from him." Kenshin replied, eyes finally opening again and meeting hers. "He made us believe you were dead."

"NANI?"

"He…he had a karakuri made of you, and he left it in the dojo. Left it with a sword through your heart, and a cross-shaped cut on your cheek." Kenshin's voice broke as a few tears fell down his cheeks, and he looked away from her. "Sessha thought you were dead."

Kaoru stared at him in horror. Everyone thought she was dead? Kenshin had thought she was dead? She tried to imagine what she would do if he was dead, and couldn't. She couldn't imagine living the rest of her life without him. And if he had even a fraction of the feelings for her as she did for him…

"I'm not dead." Kaoru replied finally, not knowing what to say. "I'm right here. I don't think it's that Enishi didn't want to kill me, I don't think he could."

"You can't imagine what it was like…thinking…" Kenshin began, then cut off as his voice began to shake. "Gomen. Sessha should not burden you with…"

"Oh, Kenshin." Tears running down her face as well, Kaoru did reach out now and take his hand. "No, I can't imagine…"

"You should not worry." Kenshin replied, although his hand did grip hers tightly. "As you said, you are not dead, and everything is alright."

"I've never thought you were dead, but I worried once or twice that you might be, and that was…" Kaoru abruptly cut off as she noticed his face beginning to close down.

"Sessha is sorry for all the worry he caused you." Kenshin said finally, his rurouni mask fully in place as he released her hand. "For now, you should go rest. Sessha needs to do the same." And with that, he closed his eyes.

Kaoru felt her tears beginning to come faster at his abrupt dismissal, but he was right that they both needed to rest. In her case, it was because she'd been up all night worrying about him.

"Sleep well." She said simply as she rose and left the room.

Kenshin kept his eyes shut after she left, but couldn't sleep. While one part of his mind was cursing him for sending her away, the other part was reminding him that most of the danger she'd been in over the past years had been because of his past returning to bite him on the ass.

He had to distance himself from her now, while he still could. He had to leave her, before he really did get her killed.

He thought of how hard it had been to leave her when he went to fight Shishio, and didn't know how he would find the strength to do so again. But he knew he didn't have the strength to live through her dying again, which was sure to happen if he stayed with her. As long as he knew she was alive and well, he would be able to be content. As these thoughts ran around and around in his head, he finally gave in to the demands of his body and fell into a restless sleep.

OoOoO

Kaoru slid open the door to her room an instant after leaving Kenshin's room, moving quickly to make sure that she didn't run into anyone. She didn't think she could handle talking to anyone.

She tossed her futon out quickly, changed, and laid down. "Kenshin…what are you thinking?" She whispered to herself as she tossed and turned. "You were so happy to see me…why did you push me away just now?" Her thoughts ran in a downward spiral, depressing her more and more as she realized there was only one reason for his action. For somewhere in the spiral, she'd realized an awful truth. He hadn't just thought she was dead, he'd blamed himself for her death. In his mind, it would have been the same as if he'd killed her himself, as he had his first wife.

"Baka." She muttered, half wanting to go back into his room and beat some sense into him. Didn't he understand that she knew what she risked being with him? Didn't he know that she would die without him?

Tears streaming down her face, she fell into a restless sleep.

OoOoO

_Slight lime ahead _

"You can't imagine what it was like…thinking…" Kenshin began, then cut off as his voice began to shake. "Gomen. Sessha should not burden you with…"

"Oh, Kenshin." Tears running down her face as well, Kaoru did reach out now and take his hand. "No, I can't imagine…I can't imagine what I'd do if you were gone."

He squeezed her hand tightly. "Sessha…watashi wa…I thought I lost you."

"You'll never lose me." Kaoru said, reaching out with her other hand and ghosting her fingers over his face. "Remember, I told you I want to stay with you forever."

Instead of freezing in shock like the last time she'd said it, this time he smiled and leaned his face into her hand. "I would like that." He whispered

Kaoru smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm glad. Because otherwise I'd have to beat some sense into you until you saw things my way."

"I wish to avoid that." Kenshin smiled back at the teasing tone in her voice. "Come down here, and show me how glad you are to see me."

Kaoru laughed, and leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips. It didn't feel like the first time they'd kissed, because it felt so familiar. Yet what started as a gentle brush of lips soon became much more, as each was starved for the other due to the time they'd been apart.

Kenshin let go of her hand, sliding his up her back as she leaned over him more, placing her hands on either side of him for balance. He let his hand rub gentle circles on her back, relishing the fact that he was touching her. That she was letting him touch her. He slid his hand up to the bare skin of her neck, rubbing gently. And unintentionally gripped harder when he felt her tongue slip into his mouth.

Kaoru smirked internally at his reaction, and then gasped when his own tongue came out to duel with hers. She felt his hand slide over her back again, and was amazed when she felt him untying her obi was only one hand. She felt it loosen a moment later, and although it did slid down slightly, the way it was wrapped around her body kept it from falling off completely.

Kenshin sat up then, forcing her back to her knees as he kept their lips locked. His hand moved around to her front, and slid inside the now gaping fabric of her kimono to gently cup one of her breasts. "You don't know what it was like thinking I'd never see you again." He broke the kiss enough to say. "Never be able to touch you again." His hand squeezed gently as he landed a kiss on the side of her neck that had her gasping. "Never be able to kiss you."

"I've waited so long for you to kiss me." She whispered back. "I never want you to stop."

His only reply was to passionately kiss her again, his hand shifting her kimono even more until it fell off of her shoulders and her beauty was revealed to him.

His mouth slid over her body as his hand had a moment ago, down her face, her neck, and just as he was about to take one peaked nipple into his mouth…

"KAORU!!!"

Kenshin's voice screaming her name woke Kaoru from her wonderful dream, and the terror in his voice erased all sleepiness from her body as she got up and rushed to his room.

TBC…

OoOoO

AN2: So, yeah, when I originally wrote that scene, it started to get citrusy like this, but I didn't want to do that so soon plus it's not in character for them at all, but at the same time I wanted to write it…. So I just did both. Hope that little bit of lime will hold you over until I start getting into the more romantic part of the story. Please look forward to the next part, and tell me what you thought of this one.

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Itami: Pain, bodily or mental suffering_

_Kitsune: The fox of Japanese mythology, known for cunning and stealth. It is the animal Megumi is often compared to in the manga._

_Karakuri: a doll that looks real_

_Gomen: I'm sorry._

_Baka: Idiot_


	3. Shinri

-1**Kokoro Kara**

_By Lady Callista_

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. If anyone knows of one that actually belongs to someone please let me know. The few that are by famous people I've said who they're by.

_Last time…_

"_KAORU!!!"_

_Kenshin's voice screaming her name woke Kaoru from her wonderful dream, and the terror in his voice erased all sleepiness from her body as she got up and rushed to his room._

Chapter 3: Shinri

_OoOoOoOoO_

"_What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you start?"_

_OoOoOoOoO_

Kaoru hurriedly slid open the sliding door to Kenshin's room, taking the time to close it behind her so that they didn't waken the rest of the house. She ran over to his bedside and quickly knelt down beside him, putting a hand on his arm and shaking him awake.

"Kaoru!" Kenshin's yell permeated the air as he leapt to consciousness.

"I'm here. It's okay. Everything is okay." Kaoru said quickly as he awoke, sitting bolt upright and nearly jerking his right arm out of its sling as he reached for his sakabato. "Just lie still, calm down, I don't want you to hurt yourself worse."

"Kaoru…" Kenshin whispered. He seemed utterly lost for a moment, and his voice seemed deeper than normal, then suddenly he spoke in his normal rurouni tone. "Kaoru-dono, sessha is sorry to have woken you."

"Oh, cut that out." Kaoru snapped, annoyance bubbling over at his words. Normally she found his polite way of speaking cute, especially since many men never bothered to be polite to a girl like her, but having been woken from a dream that was beginning to be everything she'd ever wanted, she was only annoyed by the rurouni before her. "I know you feel like you should carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you don't have to do that." Her voice gentled, and she almost whispered, "You don't have to carry all your troubles and worries alone."

Kenshin shifted, turning on his side so that he faced away from her.

"Please, just this once, let me be the strong one." Kaoru whispered, tears coming to her eyes as he rejected her help. "Let me help you. Onegai. Onegai, anata…" She trailed off as what she'd just said registered.

Kenshin turned back to face her, his eyes huge in his petite face.

"Ana….Anata wa baka desu!" Kaoru said finally, trying desperately to cover her slip. _(See the Jap/Eng glossary if this is confusing to you, but this slip doesn't work in English so I had to write it this way.)_

Kenshin raised his eyebrows. "Oro?"

Kaoru was relieved he didn't press the point, although she was sure he'd noticed it. "Let me be strong." She whispered. "Just for one night, don't worry about me, or anyone else. Let me carry your worries."

Although Kenshin reached out for her hand, and held it when she offered it, his eyes slid shut in defeat. "No one else deserves all the burdens sessha carries. And of all people, you would be the last sessha would wish to carry them."

"Because you don't think I'm strong enough?" Kaoru's voice broke as a few tears slid down her cheeks.

"Iie." Kenshin whispered, his face showing pain. "Because you are innocent. You have never killed, and you do not deserve the burdens of one who has."

Kaoru took a deep breath and tried one last time. "Kenshin. During your fight with Enishi, the others were talking about you finding your truth. Saying that you couldn't have been there if you hadn't found it. What is your truth?"

Kenshin almost smiled, and his eyes opened to lock with hers. "To be strong and protect all those who suffer within my sight. To never kill again, and to bring others as much happiness as possible." He let go of her hand, and raised his to her cheek, brushing away the few tears that trailed down it. "To see even one more smile…"

Kaoru smiled as he'd intended her to.

"Vowing to the sword and soul, my life of battles will be followed through." Kenshin said softly as his hand dropped from her face.

"Your truth is the same as mine." Kaoru said finally, brushing her fingers over the scar on his cheek and recalling the night when he'd told them how he'd gotten it. "To protect others. To bring happiness to them. To see them smile…"

"Kaoru-dono…sessha…" Kenshin began.

"Iie." Kaoru snapped, misinterpreting what he was going to say, and fed up with always being seen as less than then men around her. Hadn't she beaten Kurogasa's spell? Hadn't she always protected and cared for her friends? Hadn't she fought and beaten the Juppongatana? "We fight for the same reason. The fact that you're better at it than me…"

"Iie. Iie, that is not what sessha meant. I meant only that the reasons we fight are different, and that…" Kenshin said weakly.

"And that what?" Kaoru forcibly checked her temper, and managed to ask.

"Kaoru-dono…"

"Onegai, not Kaoru-dono. If I could have one wish granted at this instant in my life it would be that you stop calling me that."

"Oro?"

"Gomen, Kenshin." Kaoru whispered. "I may regret this tomorrow, but tonight I'm just tired, and fed up, or whatever else you want to call it. I understand that you give all women that formality, but at the same time it's like you're creating an artificial distance between them and yourself. A distance between yourself and me. And I don't…"

"I understand what you're saying." Kenshin said, and Kaoru immediately noticed the lack of the polite and formal "sessha," although she wasn't sure if he meant he understood why she didn't like being called -dono or if he was referring to what they'd been talking about before. She realized it was the former when he went on. "Demo, you didn't live my life. You haven't lived in my world, and…"

"Mou, Kenshin." Kaoru spat. "Why can't you just accept the fact that I don't care what happened before I met you? You're one of the kindest, gentlest people I know, and…"

"Tomoe said that." Kenshin said randomly. "In her diary, which I read part of all those years ago. She said that my one flaw was that I was too kind to be a hitokiri."

The distant, broken way he said it almost broke Kaoru's heart. "Tomoe-san was right. You have the largest heart of anyone I know, and…"

"Iie, Kaoru-dono, don't…"

"ANA!!!" She let out a scream of frustration, not at all concerned that she might wake Yahiko, or any of the others who were probably staying the night to make sure Kenshin was all right. "Please, onegai, if I can ask just one thing of you. At least for tonight." She tentatively acknowledged that what happened now might not be true by the light of day. "Onegaishimas, can you just use my name? I've always called you by yours, and it seems strange that…"

"Kaoru." Kenshin said simply, although there was nothing simple about the flip-flop Kaoru's heart did when she heard it. "Kaoru-koishii." His hand snaked back up to rub her cheek. Apparently some things were just easier in the dark.

Kaoru could swear her heart stopped when he called her that.

Although there had been nothing simple or easy about using just her name, or worse yet, her name with an endearment rather than an honorific, Kenshin found it rolled rather easily off of his tongue. The fact that he'd wanted to use it for months, that's he'd wanted to make her his woman as all his opponents assumed she was… But if anything would destroy their relationship, that would be it, Kenshin thought instinctively.

"Anata." She repeated her earlier slip hesitantly, but this time made sure it was clear what she meant. "Before you say anything more, let me say two things, please. First, and most important, is that I understand what you want, no, what you need to make of your life, and I respect and honor you for it. And second, I want to be at your side while you do it. Don't turn away from me again, Kenshin. Please, let me help you."

His eyes went huge in his face when she said she wanted to be by his side, and Kenshin felt like his world was flying apart. To hear her say that, after being at his side had nearly gotten her killed… Maybe it was a weakness, maybe he was just weak tonight because he'd had another nightmare about losing her, but he wanted her at his side. "And that would make Kaoru smile?" He whispered as he trailed his fingers over her face.

"Hai, it would." She smiled at seeing the acceptance in his face. "Oh, yes, it would."

TBC…

AN: Thanks for sticking in there. Please look forward to the next part, and let me know what you thought of this one. And stay tuned to hear Kenshin's reply.

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Shinri: Truth, as in a principle or concept_

_Onegai/Onegaishimas: Please, as in asking for something. The second is more formal._

_Anata: In Kaoru's first usage, (aka just the word anata) it's roughly the same as the English sweetheart or honey. It's a term of endearment used by a female towards a man that she loves._

_Anata wa baka desu: Literally, you are an idiot. (Okay, here's why this slip had to be done in Japanese. "Anata wa" means "you," but it's something that's almost never said in conversation. It's considered impolite to use the pronoun 'you' in most circumstances, so they use the person's name instead. What Kaoru normally would have said is "Kenshin no baka," or "Kenshin wa baka desu," the first of which translates as 'idiot Kenshin,' the second of which translates as 'Kenshin is an idiot.' However, since she'd slipped and used anata, which by itself without the "wa" means sweetheart, she had to find a way to cover that. And that's my Japanese lesson for the day.)_

_Iie: No._

_Demo: But…_

_Mou: There's no exact translation, but just imagine a sound of utter female frustration and contempt at one man in particular or men in general and that's the translation…_

_Hitokiri: Depending on whether you follow the anime or the manga, this translates as either "assassin" or "manslayer," which in my opinion are very different but the people doing the translating apparently don't see much of a difference in. Don't get me started on this._

_Koishii: Beloved, or sweetheart. A term a man uses for a woman he loves. _


	4. Hajime

**Kokoro Kara**

_By Lady Callista_

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. If anyone knows of one that actually belongs to someone please let me know. The few that are by famous people I've said who they're by.

Dedication: This part is dedicated to a great author, who sadly has passed on to the next world. He inspired many readers and writers alike, and will be greatly missed. My love and prayers are with him and his family. Rest in Peace, Robert Jordan. _"__May you shelter in the palm of the Creator's hand. The last embrace of the Mother welcome you home." -Rand al Thor, from Jordan's "The Wheel of Time" series_

Chapter 4: Hajime

_OoOoOoO_

"_We are alike in many ways, you and I. There is a darkness in us. Darkness, pain, death. __They radiate from us. If ever you love a woman, Rand, leave her and let her find another. __It will be the best gift you can give her."_

_-Lan Mandragoran, from Jordan's "The Wheel of Time"_

_OoOoOoO_

"I want almost more than anything for you to smile." Kenshin stated, his hand still on her cheek. "But more than that, I want you safe. You are not safe at my side." Although his hand stayed on her face, and his voice was gentle, there was a frightening finality to it, as if he'd already made up his mind and nothing would change it.

"But I'm not happy anywhere else." Kaoru said just as gently. "Don't you see that it's my choice to make?"

"But that choice could get you killed." Kenshin said, his face showing pain again. "I couldn't bear to lose you like that…"

"Demo, Kenshin, it's my life." Kaoru said, placing her hand over his. "And I know you'll always come for me. I know you'll always save me. I may go on living if you leave the dojo, but I won't be alive."

"Kaoru…please…ask anything of me but this." Kenshin whispered. "I can't…"

"On the island, Enishi was going to let me go." Kaoru whispered back. "Once he had his revenge on you, once he killed you, he would have let me go. I didn't have to step between you and the gun, Kenshin. Nothing forced me to risk my life for yours. But in the instant I had to decide, I realized I'd rather be dead than lose you. I'd rather die than watch you die. Please, let me make this choice."

"I, also, would rather die than watch you die." Kenshin replied, sitting up so that he could look her in the eyes. "But I still say I would rather never see you again and know that you're alive than have you die because of me."

"You didn't see what I was like when you left me to fight Shishio." Kaoru whimpered. "I wasn't alive. I didn't eat, I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything; I just existed. And I wasn't even sure I wanted to do that. I know it sounds pathetic, and I know many people would say I was acting like a child, but I just didn't know how to live without you. There didn't seem to be a point to life if you weren't in it."

"That is how I felt when I thought you were dead." Kenshin admitted, feeling like they were just arguing in a circle. Kaoru said she would die without him, but he was afraid she would die with him.

Kaoru waited for him to say more, but he didn't. Like him, she'd realized that unless one of them changed the other's way of thinking neither of them could win this disagreement. "I don't know what else to say, Kenshin." She whispered finally when she realized he wasn't going to speak more. "All I can ask is that you respect what I want, and at least think about staying. Trust me, the same way I trust you."

"You know I trust you." Kenshin immediately. "I just don't know if I trust myself with your life. What if, the next time, I don't make it in time?"

"And what if, tomorrow, a horse runs me over and I die?" Kaoru replied as she stood. "There are no certainties in life, anata." She smiled as she said for the second time the word she'd wanted to call him for so long, and she headed towards the door. "Life is just what we make of it. I'll see you in the morning."

Kenshin watched as she opened the door, passed through, and slid it shut behind her. "Sleep well, koishii." He whispered into the stillness when he was sure she was gone. He laid back on his futon, knowing he wasn't going to get any more sleep. His heart and his head were about to engage in battle, and he wasn't sure which one would win. He wasn't even sure which one wanted to go and which one wanted to stay.

OoOoOoOoO

Although it was the hardest thing she'd ever done, Kaoru didn't look in on Kenshin at all the next day. She wanted to give him whatever time he needed to work everything out, because she knew that the next time they talked, he would have decided, and nothing she could do at that point would change his mind.

She pushed Yahiko hard in his training, although in some ways she felt it was almost silly for her to be teaching a boy who'd learned several of Kenshin's moves just by watching them. Nevertheless, he was still her student, and she gave him her all. She did still have a few moves left to teach him.

Tired after the day of training, for after teaching Yahiko she'd left for the afternoon to teach at another dojo, she fell into her bath, dried off, and without even bothering to try and make dinner went to bed. She'd kept herself so occupied all day that her mind had barely had time to think of Kenshin, although she did have a very large bruise on her arm from when Yahiko had gotten in a particularly good hit on her while her mind drifted to her rurouni. Exhausted from the day, she quickly fell asleep.

OoOoOoOoO

When Kaoru woke the next morning, it was with the sun and to a completely silent home. Dressing quickly in kimono, she wandered out into the house.

Kenshin's door was open, and he wasn't there. She moved quickly throughout the house, and when no one was there she moved out into the yard, to find Yahiko doing the laundry. Her heart almost stopped in shock.

"Yahiko-kun?" She said softly.

Yahiko smiled at her. "I figured that with Kenshin not felling well, someone had to do the laundry. It was that or the cooking, and I cook even worse than you do, so I figured you could do that and we could all choke down your dinners for a few days."

Rather than finding a random object and hitting him with it, Kaoru could only laugh. "I'm glad you're finally growing up. Have you seen Kenshin?"

"He walked down to the river." Yahiko replied, stopping his work for a moment to look at her. "He asked me to tell you to meet him by the bridge when you woke up."

Kaoru swallowed. This was it. "How did he seem?"

"Well, he still moves like he hurts, but his face was blank." Yahiko replied seriously. "Even more blank than his normal mask."

"I see." Kaoru said as she started to leave. "Arigato."

Kaoru began walking quickly, but found that the closer she got to the river, the more her feet dragged. It was almost easier not knowing if he'd chosen to leave. It was almost better to still have the hope that he'd stay even when she feared he wouldn't than to know for sure. Bucking up her courage, she cleared the small woods and came to the river. Seeing him standing on the small wooden bridge overlooking it, she walked up and stood beside him.

"Ohayoo gozaimasu." Kenshin said quietly.

"Ohayoo." She responded. "Yahiko said you wanted to speak with me."

"Hai." Kenshin turned to her. "The first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank you for giving me time to think. But more than that, thank you for being who you are. Thank you for all you've done for me…"

Kaoru's breath caught as he trailed off, and she was terrified that he'd decided to leave her. Her eyes started to tear up, and she tried to look away, only to have her chin caught in his hand as he turned her eyes back to meet his.

"Thank you for giving me a home." Kenshin whispered. "Sessha has a favor to ask of you. Will you come to Kyoto with me? I wish for you to meet Tomoe-dono, and then I wish for the two of us to return here. Together."

Now Kaoru's eyes did fill with tears, but her face was filled with such joy that it was impossible to misinterpret them. "I would be honored to meet Tomoe-san."

"In a few days then, when I'm better able to travel, let's go there."

"And let's come home together." Kaoru smiled, reaching out a hand to lay it tentatively on his uninjured arm.

He smiled at her, and slid his hand to one side of her face, then leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek. "I still fear for you, but I don't think I could bear my life without you in it." He whispered in her ear before he pulled back.

Kaoru's eyes slid shut when his lips touched her face, and she felt a tingling go down her entire body. His words registered, but although the words meant a lot to her, the kiss meant more than anything. "And I couldn't bear mine without you." She whispered as he drew back.

"Let's go home." Kenshin said softly, taking her hand in his.

Kaoru beamed at him as they walked back to the dojo hand in hand.

_OoOoOoO_

"_A woman who knows the danger and isn't afraid is a treasure only a madman would spurn."  
-Lews Therin Telamon, from Jordan's "The Wheel of Time"_

_OoOoOoO_

AN: Wow, two new parts in one day. I'm on a role. It'll take a few days for the next part, but I was just inspired and had to get this out since I left the last part at a bit of a cliffhanger. Please tell me what you think.

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Hajime: Beginning_

_Ohayoo gozaimasu: Good morning._


	5. Sayonara

Kokoro Kara

_By Lady Callista_

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter. Oh, and sorry for the long quote at the beginning of this part, but it was just so pretty.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. Eventually. I promise. Really, just hang in there, I am getting to it. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. If anyone knows of one that actually belongs to someone please let me know. The ones that are by famous people I've said who they're by.

AN2: In case no one has realized it by now, I'm mostly writing the scenes that I feel go in between the gaps in time given in the last manga (#28). For anyone who hasn't read this, I realize that might be a little confusing, so if anyone wants I'll recap what goes on in the scenes from the manga so that you know where my scenes go. Let me know.

Chapter 5 – Sayonara

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.  
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.  
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared.  
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.  
You can remember only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.  
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.  
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."_

_-David Harkins_

_OoOoOoOoO_

"Do you want to go tonight or tomorrow?" Kaoru asked quietly as her and Kenshin entered the hotel room they had reserved in Kyoto. Just over a week had passed since the fight with Enishi, and although Kenshin's right arm was still in a sling, most of his other wounds had begun to heal rather well. Looking at him now, clothed in his normal maroon gi and white hakama, one would never know he'd almost died a week ago.

"Tomorrow, sessha thinks." Kenshin replied as he set his bag down along the side of the room. "It took longer than expected to get here, and we are both tired."

"Should we get something to eat, then?" Kaoru asked as she set her own bag next to his. "I'm kind of hungry."

"That would be good." Kenshin replied, his face inches from hers since she'd moved close to set down her bag. "Then we can rest, and we can go see her early tomorrow." Although his words remained simple, the look in his eyes showed he wasn't thinking much about what he was saying.

Kaoru's breath caught as she stared into his violet eyes, and her own eyes widened in shock when she noticed a few flecks of amber starting to manifest. The eyes she'd only ever seen him show when he was angry now seemed to be coming to the forefront when he was anything but. "Kenshin…" Her eyes grew even wider when she noticed his attention had shifted from her eyes to her lips.

Suddenly he inhaled deeply, and took a step back from her. His voice took on a light tone, the rurouni's voice she knew so well, "Where would you like to eat?"

Kaoru tried to shift herself back to normal as quickly as he had, but her voice was still slightly breathless when she replied, "Anywhere close by is fine. I am fairly tired after the journey."

She could remember the first time she'd journeyed to Kyoto, the anticipation of seeing Kenshin again making the 250 miles seem like nothing.

Although she'd had his company to enjoy this time, it was still a long and exhausting journey. And although she'd finally gotten him to drop the –dono from her name, mostly by threatening to call him Kenshin-sama like Misao did to Aoshi, she still didn't feel that they were any closer to each other. He hadn't touched her once since their journey started other than to assist her with things, and their conversations, while friendly and not at all strained, hadn't been about anything important.

She wanted to recapture the closeness they'd had that one all too brief night, when she'd called him anata without being self-conscious. When he'd put his hand on her cheek when he was awake, and she'd held that hand in both of hers while he slept. When, unknown to him, she'd stayed at his door long enough to hear him whisper 'koishii.'

"Sessha believes there was a place just next door." Kenshin said as he moved towards the door, carefully not looking at her. He wanted to kiss her so badly, wanted to hold her, caress her, and tell her he loved her. But before he did any of that, he wanted to say goodbye, finally, to Tomoe. "Shall we go?"

"Hai." Kaoru said softly, her body and voice now fully under control. She followed him, and went through the shoji when he held it open for her. Unsure of herself, she reached a hand backwards as he followed her down the hall, and was relieved when he took it gently in his own, squeezing it for a moment in reassurance before they entered the main room of the hotel and he let it go.

OrOoRoOrOoRo

The next night…

"Arigato…gomen nasai….sayonara…"

Kenshin's words from earlier that day, as they'd been leaving Tomoe-san's grave and she'd asked him what he said to her, continued to echo through Kaoru's head as she sat in their hotel room meditating. They'd decided to stay the night in Kyoto and leave early the next morning. They'd had dinner together at a restaurant down the street, and afterwards Kenshin had said he wanted to go for a walk. Interpreting easily that he wanted to be alone for a little while, Kaoru had said simply that it would give her a chance to meditate.

Yet all she could think about was his words. The first she understood perfectly, she'd said it as well, although for different reasons. The second she also understood. It would be impossible to know Kenshin and not understand. The third she thought she did, yet it was hard for her to believe he'd ever truly say goodbye to his past, or to Tomoe-san in particular. It was so much a part of him. It was why he'd chosen to live the life he now lived.

Although, the wise part of her replied, moving on doesn't mean forgetting the past. Saying goodbye to Tomoe-san doesn't mean she never existed, doesn't mean he won't still miss her or remember all the things he learned from being with her. It just meant that he was going to move on.

Kaoru smiled full out at the thought of that, and it was to the sight of her kneeling in the middle of the room, hands on her legs, and with a brilliant smile beaming on her face that Kenshin was greeted with when he entered the room after his walk. He froze in the doorway for a moment, his blood rushing so loudly he was sure she'd hear it. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and he had no idea what to do other than stand in the doorway and admire her.

"Kenshin?" Her voice drifted softly across the room, although her eyes were still closed. He wondered for a moment how she'd know he was there, for she hadn't reacted as if she'd heard the shoji when he opened it.

"Hai." He replied, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him.

Her eyes opened then, and she turned to look at him. "What are you thinking about?" She asked in the same quite voice.

"Why do you ask?" He countered as he took a few steps closer and knelt down to be on the same level as her. There was no way he was just going to blurt out the thoughts he'd been having about her.

"Your presence changed." She said gently. "I can always feel your kenki when you're nearby. I felt you enter, and then I felt a flare up that normally I only feel when you're fighting. It usually means you're mad, but tonight it feels different somehow."

Kenshin could only gape at her. Although he'd always used his kenki to sense her and the others around him, he'd never known that any of them could do the same with him.

It shouldn't have surprised him really, he thought rapidly. She wouldn't have been able to break free of Kurogasa's paralyzing spell unless she had a strong kenki of her own. He'd never realized she'd been trained to use it though, since that was the only time she'd ever really demonstrated it. He'd just assumed she'd been untrained and the stress of the situation had made her do it without realizing what she was doing. Making a note to himself to pay more attention in the future, although when he was in the same room as her his thoughts often scattered so much it was difficult to pay attention to anything, he considered how to answer her.

"Strong emotions always affect the spirit." He said simply. "Normally, the only thing I allowed myself to feel that strongly was anger. And even then it wasn't a matter of allowing myself to feel it, it was more that I was pushed far enough I couldn't control it."

"But you're not angry now, ne." Although it was mostly a statement, there was just enough hesitation in the last word to make him realize how uncertain she was.

"I'm not angry now." He said, looking in her eyes. "But I am feeling strongly."

"Are you sad?" Kaoru asked worriedly, wondering if coming to Kyoto had been a good idea. Wondering if he was regretting bringing her with, despite what he'd said earlier.

Kenshin smiled at her innocence and scooted closer, till their knees almost bumped. He almost wanted to tease her a little, but the genuine worry that shone in her eyes quickly had him deciding against that. "A little, maybe." He said honestly. "But I know why my kenki changed, and it wasn't anger or sadness."

Kaoru raised a hand from her knee, reaching out to him, and he took it and cradled it gently in his one hand, the other still being in a sling. He'd held her hand the same way as they were leaving the graveyard.

"It changed because I walked in the room, saw you, and wondered how I got lucky enough to have such a beautiful woman waiting for me." Kenshin smiled as her eyes grew huge, and did scoot forward now so that their knees touched. Sometime during his walk, most of which he'd spent thinking about Kaoru, he'd decided it was finally time. He knew a part of her was still uncertain if he was truly going to stay with her or not, and even the part of her that knew he would wasn't sure about his feelings for her. It was obvious to him, and their friends, that she loved him, but he knew he'd kept his own feelings much more hidden.

Releasing her hand, Kenshin slowly reached out and caressed her cheek. "Thank you for coming here with me."

"Thank you for letting me." Kaoru replied automatically, her eyes still huge in her delicate face.

Kenshin let his fingers slid slowly down her cheek, caressing the side of her neck for a moment before taking her gently under the chin, running his thumb over her lips. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips as soon as his thumb moved, and it was all he could do to not moan at the enticing gesture, especially as it was done in complete innocence.

He leaned in closer to her, and the catch of what he hoped was anticipation in her breath almost undid him. He leaned past her face, brushing their cheeks together for an instant as he whispered, "Will you let me kiss you?"

Her face tilted towards his, and her eyes slid shut. "Please." Her voice was barely a whisper.

He slid their lips together, barely touching, then let his eyes slid shut as well as he was overcome by her sweetness and the explosion of her own kenki. His answered, and he could swear the room itself grew warmer. He deepened the kiss slightly, and could feel both nervousness and excitement from her. He didn't want her nervous at all, didn't want to push her. So although a part of him wanted to never stop kissing her, and in fact wanted to do a great deal more, he pulled back gently and slid his hand around her neck, touching foreheads for a moment before he moved away.

Kaoru was both overcome with sensation and decidedly annoyed that he had pulled away. She'd wanted the kiss to go on forever, having waited it seemed like that long for it to happen. Yet there was no way she could be that forward with him. Letting her eyes drift open as he pulled back, she smiled at him and was rewarded with a smile in return.

"Let's get to sleep." Kenshin said after a moment. "The earlier we leave tomorrow, the sooner we can get home."

"Home." Kaoru beamed at him. "That sounds good."

Kenshin hadn't been lying to Enishi when he said that Tomoe no longer smiled for him because he could no longer see her. And that was okay.

Now Kaoru smiled for him, and that was more than he had ever hoped to have again and all that he needed.

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."_

_-an Eskimo proverb_

_OoOoOoOoO_

_TBC..._

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Sayonara: Goodbye. Despite it's usage by most Americans, this is not just what you would say whenever you're leaving. It has a nuance to it that means you're not sure when you're going to see the person again. In the scene when Kenshin leaves for Kyoto in the Shishio arc, he uses the term sayonara, showing that he's probably not going to see Kaoru again for a long time, if ever. Traditionally, when one is leaving the home, say on an errand, they wouldn't say sayonara, but would say "Ittekimasu," which translates as "I'll go and come back." When leaving someone, one can also say, "Jaa, mata," which translates literally as, "Then, again," but is used colloquially for "see you later."_

_Shoji: The sliding doors used in Japanese design._

_Gomen nasai: I'm sorry._

_Kenki: Swordsman's spirit, something only a person with a very strong spirit has. Kenshin's and Yahiko's both make the leaves snap around them, and although we never really see Kaoru with one, it was always my impression that was how she broke the paralysis. Through sheer force of will and fighting spirit. Which is basically what kenki is, so I've chosen to say she has it._

_Ne: At the end of a sentence, it's loosely the same as "isn't that right?" or "isn't that so?" It's added when you think the person will agree with the statement you just made._


	6. Sowasowa

Kokoro Kara

By Lady Callista

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. If anyone knows of one that actually belongs to someone please let me know. The ones that are by famous people I've said who they're by.

AN2: The first few lines are directly from the manga, to get the chapter going and to make sure everyone knows where in the timeline it is.

Oh, and it was pointed out to me by a friend that read this that I have been filling in missing parts, but mostly from Kaoru's POV. That when they're separated I've said what's happening to her, what she's thinking, but haven't done much with him other than the first chapter's dream sequences. I'm sorry for that, but Kaoru is easier for me to write because she's a lot like me, and because it's always been easier for me, a girl, to write the girl's feelings and thoughts. If lots of people want me to write Kenshin's POV, I'll give it a whirl but can't promise it will be good; otherwise I'm inclined to keep going as I am.

Special note: For anyone who doesn't already know, Japanese culture, especially during the Meiji time period but even currently, is much less casual about touch than most other cultures. So the little things, like holding someone's hand, or resting your head on their shoulder, that don't mean much to Americans mean much more to the Japanese. I wanted to try and keep that feel in the story, and I hope people understand the "slowness" that K&K's physical relationship is moving at. Because in their culture, it would actually be moving rather fast.

Chapter 6-**_Sowasowa_**

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"Kissing is like drinking salted water, you drink and your thirst increases."_

_-a Chinese proverb_

_OoOoOoOoO_

…A few days later… (after Megumi has told everyone she's leaving in a week)

"Dinner's ready." Kaoru said with a smile as she stepped out onto the porch, laughing a little as the wind picked up at that instant, setting the wind chimes off. "Where's Kenshin?"

"Nani?" Misao asked, for she had assumed he'd been inside cooking. "He's not home yet? Want me to go find him?"

Kaoru smiled at the eagerness of the younger girl. "Iie, daijubo. A lot has happened, and Kenshin must want some alone time."

"Don't worry about him." Yahiko piped up.

"Yeah, Jou-chan, this is the only place he'll come home to." Sano added.

"Hai." Kaoru said as she turned to head back into the house. "So let's just go ahead and eat." Yahiko's comment didn't really bother her, after all she worried about everyone, but Sano's hit a little too close to home. Even after what had happened between her and Kenshin in Kyoto, she still worried that he wouldn't want to stay at the dojo with her. It was a foolish thought, and she realized that, but it was something she'd been worrying about for so long now that it was hard to stop. Ever since the day he'd moved in with her, she'd known there was little holding him there, and always feared she'd wake one day to find him packing to leave. That it had happened once, when he went to fight Shishio, didn't help.

Kaoru knew she was being foolish, and was careful to keep her thoughts off her face as she listened to the conversation at dinner and interjected comments when she needed to. Although certainly not as good as Kenshin would have made, her dinner was more edible than it had been in the past, and she endured the jokes about it with good humor. But her mind wasn't really there.

Even as, one by one, everyone retired for the night, her mind still wasn't there. It was really late now, and she had no idea where Kenshin had gone. Once everyone else was asleep, she gave in to the insane desire to peek into his room, and was relieved to find his things there. She'd known they would be, but it was good to see it for herself.

Muttering a word under her breath that she'd learned from Sano, she grabbed a blanket and went into the main room. She knew it was silly to wait up for him, but she just couldn't help it. She was worried. After giving herself a long talk, she managed to convince herself that she wasn't worried about him leaving for good, just concerned because it was after midnight, and he usually let her know if he was going to be out late. Although he could certainly take care of himself, she was still worried.

She'd also hoped to talk with him. After that kiss at the hotel in Kyoto, things had mostly gone back to how they used to be. He'd not kissed her again, or touched her other than to assist her with things; although she had once or twice seen him watching her in a way she'd never noticed him doing before. If not for those occasional looks, which always vanished as soon as he realized she was looking at him, she would have thought she dreamed the kiss. Dreamed that he called her beautiful. Thinking of that kiss, of the way he'd looked at her, she dozed off.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Kenshin's voice woke her from a beautiful dream. Although she barely remembered it, she was pretty sure it had involved her holding their child.

"Kaoru-dono, you will catch a cold if you sleep there." Kenshin gazed down at her as she woke slowly. She'd looked so cute sleeping against the wall, curled up with her arms around a blanket. "Tadiama."

"Okaerinasai." Kaoru beamed at him, all the worry of the night before forgotten in her happiness that he'd returned, and returned safely. Then she remembered that he'd missed dinner the night before, and that it was already morning. "If you can wait a little, I'll prepare breakfast." She said even as she dashed off to the kitchen.

She took stock of it quickly, trying to decide what to make. She'd gotten some good salmon the past afternoon, and she began heating it in a frying pan as she decided what else to make. As she set water to heat and got out the miso for soup, she felt Kenshin enter the kitchen behind her.

Slightly nervous in his presence, for with so many people staying at the house it was pretty much the first time they'd been alone since they got back, she babbled, "You must be tired from whatever you were doing. Just rest, and I'll have breakfast…"

She trailed off with a gasp as she felt him press up behind her, their bodies coming into contact from hips to shoulders. Her breath caught, then released with disappointment when he only reached around her to pick up the chopsticks and turn the fish over. "You will burn it if you do not take care."

She started to move away, embarrassed, when the hand that didn't still hold the chopsticks slid up her hip and wrapped gently around her waist. "Stay here, sessha will show you."

Kaoru sighed, and brought her hand up to wrap over his on her waist. "I'm not sure I'll be able to pay attention to anything you show me." She said without thinking, then flushed bright red when she realized she'd spoken her thoughts aloud.

Kenshin's only response was a deep chuckle. "I will devote as much time as it takes to being in the kitchen with you, if that is what you wish."

Kaoru noticed the change in his speech pattern and the deepening of his voice. She'd realized after the kiss that it wasn't just anger that made him stop using his humble language and blasé voice. She took a chance, and said softly, "I would never object to being alone with you."

Kenshin inhaled deeply as a flame of desire shot through him. Although she was innocent, and didn't realize the innuendo of what she'd said, he found he could suddenly think of nothing but her. "Nor would I." He whispered as he daringly dropped a kiss on the side of her neck.

Kaoru all but melted into him; the hand that held his at her waist clenched, and her other hand slid backwards to grip the material of his white hakama. She heard him moan at her reaction, and gripped even tighter when his mouth returned to her neck for a longer kiss.

"We're going to burn the food." Kenshin whispered in her ear after a minute of adoring her neck.

"I don't care." Kaoru whispered vehemently, still floating on sensations.

Kenshin chuckled as he moved a little away from her in order to concentrate. "You will when you are hungry later." He smiled inwardly at the frustrated sound she made, and replied to her unspoken comment, "We will have time for other things later."

Kaoru blushed, but moved away from him enough to add the miso and other ingredients to the pot of water which was boiling rapidly. She squeezed his hand before she moved, and was rewarded when he briefly tightened his grip as well, before letting her move away. They prepared the rest of the meal in silence.

No one else was in the main room when they brought the dishes to the table, but as both were hungry they ate anyway, leaving the rest out for when the others woke.

"What are your plans for the day?" Kenshin asked as they were nearly finished.

"Nothing, really." Kaoru smiled at him. "I wanted to train some, as I've neglected that for the past few days, but other than that I have no plans. Although I'm sure Misao will want to do something once she's awake."

"Then I will clean up the dishes while you train, and after that let us spend time with our friends." Kenshin replied as he rose and began to pick up the dishes.

"Hai, arigato." Kaoru replied as she headed to her room to change. Once she had done so, she went over to the dojo, took her bokken off the rack, and began to move through kata. As always, the familiar movements calmed her restless mind, and she found herself flowing through one movement after another, reveling in the feel of her body.

Some time later, she felt Kenshin enter the dojo, but was in the middle of a kata and refused to allow herself to be distracted. She put him as completely out her mind as was possible, and finished her sequence. When she turned to him afterwards, she was surprised to find him holding one of her extra bokken in a guard stance.

"Kenshin?" She asked in confusion. Not only had he never trained with anyone before, but she'd never seen him hold anything other than his sakabato.

"I was badly injured." Kenshin replied, and if Kaoru could have named his facial expression at that instant she would have called it almost a smirk. "I need to see how well I have recovered."

"I'm lucky you're still not at full strength or I wouldn't have a chance." Kaoru muttered, yet she wasn't one to resist a challenge. Especially since one of her dreams had always been to spar with Kenshin. The fact that they always ended up doing more than sparing was neither here nor there. Putting herself in a ready stance, she faced him. "I am your opponent."

He stood without moving for a moment, then rushed at her. Although he was fast, it wasn't as fast as he normally fought, and she could see his moves clearly. Bringing up her sword with both hands, she blocked his initial chop at her head and the game was on.

Minutes passed as they spared with each other, circling the large room as each sought a weakness in the other. Although Kenshin wasn't fighting nearly as well as he normally did, Kaoru found him still more than a match for her skills and had spent most of the time defending. Yet it was still a joy to be able to fight like this, to be able to put her all into it and know that she wouldn't hurt him. To know that he could keep pace.

Neither had managed to hit the other yet, each strike had either hit the other person's bokken, or had slid through the space where the other person was a millisecond ago. They were well matched, at least while Kenshin was holding back because of his injuries.

Kaoru became determined, although she knew she'd never beat him, even like this, it became her goal to land a hit on him. To prove that although she lacked all the graces a lady should have, she could go toe to toe with him in this. To prove that all the time she'd spent training instead of learning to cook hadn't been wasted.

More minutes passed as they spared, and finally she saw an opening. Thrusting in with her bokken at his seemingly unguarded shoulder, she was amazed when he somehow flowed around it. And the next thing she knew she was flying backwards.

Years of training made her keep her grip on the bokken, but that meant she had only one hand to break her fall, and she fell hard. She heard the clomp of his bokken hitting the floor, and before she knew it he was above her, his hand on her shoulder.

"Daijubo." She said before he could say anything, although she knew she'd have bruises for days. "I thought I had you."

Kenshin's cheeks turned red. "This is why I never sparred with any of you…"

"I'm fine, Kenshin." She repeated. "I've taken worse falls before."

"But I hurt you." His hand went unerringly to the shoulder that had taken most of her impact.

"No, you didn't." She smiled as she sat up, waving his hand away. "Kenshin, I'm not some fragile woman that needs to be protected. Fighting is a part of me, just as it is you, and I'll never learn anything if I don't fight people who are better than me."

Kenshin's hand returned to her shoulder, rubbing it gently. She fought the urge to curl into him like a cat. Then decided the hell with it, and leaned her head against his arm.

"Thank you." She whispered, her hand coming to rest on his knee. "That was the most fun I've had in a long time."

"I, also, enjoyed it." Kenshin replied, his eyes focused on her face. "You are beautiful to watch."

Kaoru's breath caught as he called her beautiful for the second time, and this time it was her that leaned in to kiss him.

TBC…

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"Staying up all night is a waste of sleeping, and a waste of sleeping is a waste of dreaming, and dreaming is important because the more dreams you have, the better chance you have of one coming true."_

_OoOoOoOoO_

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Sowasowa – Restless, nervous or uneasy_

_Daijubo: It's okay, or It's alright._

_Tadaima: I'm home. Traditional phrase, said whenever one enters their home. (Think of the clichéd "Honey, I'm home," that you see in so many American sitcoms. It's kind of like that, where no matter what tone of voice you said it in, you wouldn't dream of not saying it.)_

_Okaerinasai: Welcome home. (traditional, the response to tadaima.)_

_Miso: bean paste, available in various flavors. Miso, tofu, and seaweed are the main ingredients in miso soup, a common breakfast item._

_Hakama: traditional pants/skirt of a martial artist. Throughout the series, Kenshin's white "pants" are hakama._

_Bokken: wooden sword. Although normally called a practice sword, it is the main weapon of Kaoru's sword style._

_Kata: Series of movements in Japanese martial arts._

_Sakabato: A word created for the series, this is Kenshin's reverse-blade sword, the symbol of his vow to never kill again._


	7. Aishiteru

Kokoro Kara

By Lady Callista

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. The ones that are by famous people I've said who they're by._

And here's the lime you've all been waiting for…

LIME WARNING (it's a little shorter than my other parts, but it's pretty much a complete lime. You have been warned.)

_Chapter 7: Aishiteru_

_OoOoOoOoO _

_"You can't ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don't know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it."_

_–Barbara De Angelis_

_OoOoOoOoO_

Kaoru brushed her lips over his gently, and felt his body tense before he relaxed again, and returned the kiss. Their first kiss had been only a brush of lips, almost over before it began, and although Kaoru had been slightly frustrated by that, she also didn't know what else to do. She brushed her lips over his again, and sighed against his mouth when his hand came up to cup her cheek, tilting her head and beginning to direct the kiss.

Kenshin tilted her head slightly, changing the slat of their lips, and felt her sigh with pleasure. He smiled inwardly as he continued to direct the kiss, his other hand moving to the side of her neck and beginning to rub gently. She gasped for him this time, and as her mouth opened he gently ran his tongue along her lips and proceeded to hear an even louder gasp.

Kaoru was already drowning in sensations. No one had ever touched her this way before, no one had ever kissed her other than him, and although his tongue on her lips had been shocking, it had also sent a spear of heat straight down to her toes. She hesitantly opened her mouth again, and he seemed to know what she wanted, for his tongue came out to play again, and then it was his turn to gasp in shock as her own tongue began to duel with his. Unclenching her fists from her own hakama, she reached out and rested them on his shoulders, reveling in the feel of hard muscles under her hands. Although she'd touched him before, that was usually when she was doctoring him, and she was usually so concerned over his injuries that she didn't spend much time staring at his body. Not that she didn't spend any, because it was impossible for her to see him and not stare a little, but she'd never had the chance to just caress muscles. She slid her hands slightly down his arms, loving the curve of the biceps under her hands.

It was all Kenshin could do to keep the kiss slow and gentle. The instant she'd begun touching him, he'd had to use all of his control to not ravish her. Both of their kenki's, already running high from fighting, soared even higher as their tongues dueled, and Kenshin let his hands release her face to slid down her sides. Gripping her waist firmly, he gave in to a tiny portion of his desire and pulled her closer to him, lifting her up and setting her on his lap as he continued to kiss her. Kaoru broke the kiss a second after he pulled her into his lap, and he started to open his mouth to apologize when both her hands went to his cheeks, staring into his eyes for a moment before leaning down to kiss him again.

Kaoru kissed him greedily, letting her hands slid back to untie his ponytail, running her hands through the soft, ruby strands as she'd always wanted to do. It had startled her for a moment when she looked into his eyes, when she saw amber flecks swirling in the purple, but she remembered him saying that his kenki changed over more than just bad things, and began to wonder if the eyes were like that as well. She doubted he was even aware of it.

Kenshin let his hands slid up her back, loving that he could touch her, worried that he would go too fast for her. But although she continued to gasp for him, she made no move to stop him, and seemed to be enjoying touching him just as much as he was enjoying touching her.

They finally stopped kissing long enough to catch their breaths, and Kaoru let her head drop to his shoulder as she panted, feeling more out of breath than if she had done an hour of training. She wrapped her arms around him, and felt him grip her just as tightly.

"I've wanted this for so long." Kaoru whispered when she could speak again, turning her head a little to kiss the side of his neck. His arms tightened for a moment before they loosened, and he pulled back enough to look at her.

"Gomen." Kenshin whispered as his hands cupped her face again.

"Don't be sorry." Kaoru replied, a twinkle coming into her eyes. "You'll just have to make it worth the wait."

Kenshin's eyes got huge and it was all he could do to not gape at her. Although she was often outspoken about many things, this was the first time he'd ever heard her make a comment like that.

Kaoru giggled at his nonverbal response, her hands coming up to caress his cheeks.

"I know what else you've been waiting for." There was a seriousness in Kenshin's voice underneath the teasing tone, and Kaoru cocked her head curiously.

And sitting on the floor with her in his lap, her face between his hands and her own hands on his shoulders, he whispered the one thing he never thought he'd get to say again. "Aishiteru. Aishiteru, Kaoru."

Her eyes got huge, and her face took on an awed expression even as her eyes started to tear up. "Aishiteru." She whispered back as a single tear slid down her cheek.

Kenshin wiped it away gently with the pad of his thumb. "Please don't cry."

"I'm just so happy." Kaoru whimpered as she threw her arms around him again, burying her head in his shoulder. His arms came around her, stroking her hair and back gently as he whispered it again and sent her into a fresh round of sobs. "I never want to move from this spot."

"We should move though, Kaoru." Kenshin said her name again without the honorific and almost had her crying again. "The others are most likely awake, and we will never hear the end of it if they walk in and see us like this."

"But I want you to kiss me again." Kaoru pouted like a small child and he chuckled as he leaned in and gave her a brief kiss, then stood with her still in his arms and set her gently on her feet.

"We have all the time in the world." Kenshin said softly as he picked up both their bokkens and put them back on the rack on the wall. "For now, would you like me to draw you a bath?"

Kaoru said something too softly for him to hear.

"Nani?" Kenshin turned back to her and noticed she had flushed bright red.

"Nothing." Kaoru replied as she moved to exit the dojo. "A bath would be lovely."

"Iie." Kenshin said as he caught up with her, catching her by the hand and pulling her flush against his body. "What did you say?"

Kaoru mutely shook her head.

"Kaoru, please." Kenshin made her look him in the eyes. "There is nothing you cannot say to me. I want you to say whatever you want to say, please."

"I said I'd like to take a bath with you." Kaoru mumbled.

His hands tightened on her arms, and he was forced to take a deep breath as desire hit him like a steamroller. His voice had gone husky when he replied, "I would like that as well, however there are too many people around. We will have to find time when we can, unless you want to tell them…"

"Iie, iie." Kaoru shook her head rapidly. "I want to keep this just between us for now. It's all so new…"

Kenshin smiled and kissed her before letting go of her arms. "We should go back to the house before the others come looking for us."

Kaoru nodded. "I would actually like that bath."

"I will draw it for you." Kenshin smiled before lowing his voice. "And sometime when we have more privacy, I promise to join you in one."

Kaoru's heart skipped a beat as they walked side by side back to the house.

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"Love builds up the broken wall, and straightens the crooked path.  
Love keeps the stars in the firmament, and imposes rhythm on the ocean tides  
Each of us is created of it  
And I suspect  
Each of us was created for it"_

_-Maya Angelou_

_OoOoOoOoO_

_**TBC...**_

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Aishiteru: I love you_

_Iie: No_


	8. Akai

_Kokoro Kara_

_By Lady Callista_

AN: See full notes at the beginning of the first chapter.

This fic is rated M, cause I know it's gonna have K&K lime and lemon goodness. If you are underage please go enjoy some of the other wonderful stories on this site.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin, or anything relating to it, and have the utmost respect for all the people who created these wonderful characters. The quotes at the beginning and end of each part were all found on the Internet, mostly listed as anonymous. The ones that are by famous people I've said who they're by._

_(It's a little hard to tell in the manga how much time passes between Kenshin waiting all night for Saito, and Misao, Aoshi, and Megumi's departure, but as Megumi had said she was leaving in a week, I'm going to assume that was accurate, and the gap between the end of Act 252 and the start of 253 is a week. This chapter is set during the middle of that week, a few days before Aoshi tells everyone he's leaving and a few days after the end of my previous chapter.)_

LIME WARNING!

Yes, there is more lime, although there is plot in this part as well. (Depending on how you define plot…) Sorry this part took so long, and I hope it's worth it…

Chapter 8: Akai

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"Red, I feel my soul on fire. Black, my world if she's not there. Red, the color of desire. Black, the color of despair." -Les Miserables, the musical_

_OoOoOoOoO_

"Tadaima." Kaoru called out as she entered the house. A few days had passed since her and Kenshin's sparing match, and make-out session, she thought with a blush, and they hadn't had a single minute alone. Megumi was at the house all the time, checking up on the guy's injuries. Yahiko was always underfoot, and Sano seemed to be hanging around more than ever. And with Misao and Aoshi living there temporarily…

"Hello?" She called out after a moment had passed with no one coming into the room or calling out a welcome.

"Okaerinasai." Kenshin called out as he came out of the kitchen.

"Kenshin, where is everyone?" Kaoru questioned, rotating her neck to ease some of the tension in it. She'd started teaching at the neighboring dojo again, and had gotten quite a work out.

"Megumi-dono invited everyone to dinner at her house." Kenshin smiled at her as he approached her.

Kaoru cocked her head curiously. "And you waited for me to get back to leave?"

"Iie." Kenshin's smile grew as he came within touching distance of her. "Sessha said he had much to do here, and was sure you would be too tired when you got back from teaching."

"Demo…"

"I did promise to take a bath with you as soon as we had the chance to be alone." Kenshin's voice had dropped several octaves, and his hand slid over her cheek as he spoke.

Kaoru's eyes grew huge, and her breathing hitched. "Demo…"

"Unless that is no longer desired." Kenshin said gently.

"I…I don't know." Kaoru whispered. "I've never…"

"Wakarimasu." Kenshin replied. "Yet it was your idea."

"I…" Kaoru's emotions were in chaos. Although she had been the one to suggest it, it had been in the heat of the moment, when he'd made her feel so amazing that her body was floating and she just wanted it to keep doing so. Having had a few days to realize how inappropriate it was, and to be afraid as every innocent was…

Kenshin sensed her turbulent emotions and took his hand off of her. "Nothing need happen. You know I would never want you do to something you do not want to do."

Kaoru shuddered, for his voice was still husky, and although he'd stopped touching her his voice seemed to be caressing every part of her. "Does it sound silly if I say I'm not sure what I want?"

"Not at all." Kenshin smiled. "But may sessha have a kiss before I heat the bath up for you?"

Kaoru smiled back at him. "You can kiss me whenever you want."

Kenshin closed the distance between them, both his hands coming up to cup her cheeks. He leaned in slowly, enjoying watching her eyes widen before they slid shut. Kenshin kissed her gently, sliding his lips over hers and pulling back before anything else could happen. He held in a chuckle when she only swayed afterwards, eyes still closed, and he gave in and kissed her again before pulling back.

"Let me draw that bath for you."

Kaoru's eyes slowly fluttered open as he began to pull back from her, and her hands came up to grip his forearms as she nibbled on her lower lip for a moment, not knowing that doing so made him want to do the same. "Join me. I can't promise…"

"Shhh." He whispered, putting a finger to her lips. "You don't have to promise anything. I've missed spending time with you over the past few days, and am just happy to be with you." He made sure their eyes were locked. "You are in charge here, Kaoru-san. If I ever cause you pain…"

Her eyes closed briefly. "Onegai, just say my name. I love hearing it from your lips."

"Kaoru." Kenshin whispered, brushing a kiss over her cheek. "Kaoru-koishii."

Kaoru smiled at him and whispered, "Join me for that bath."

Kenshin shuddered even as he put a hand on the small of her back and guided her towards the bathhouse. He was probably as nervous as she was, all be it for different reasons. She was nervous because she'd never been this close to someone, and he was nervous because he had been.

Kenshin expected her to go directly into the bathhouse, yet she stayed with him as he bent to build up the fire. When he had it going well, he fed it ever more and banked it, then rose again and offered her a hand up. "Are you sure?" He whispered.

"Aishiteru." She whispered, which was both an answer and a non-answer, yet Kenshin kept her hand in his and followed her into the bathhouse.

Kaoru led as far as the outer room, and then stopped. She looked at her familiar bathhouse nervously. The yukata's already hanging on the wall, the buckets ready to be filled with hot water from the tub, the soaps on the shelf… She turned to face Kenshin, only to find him looking at her with a completely neutral face. "Kenshin?"

He let his voice go husky, having realized she seemed to like that. "Tell me what you want me to do."

A thousand things flashed through her mind, but she couldn't find the voice to say any of them. Finally, only one thing came to mind, something she'd always wanted to do but never been able to. "Let me brush your hair."

Kenshin's eyes widened, off all the things she might have said he had never thought of this one. "If you like."

Kaoru smiled as she led him over to the stool and sat him down, reaching up to the shelf to take her brush. Using one hand to untie the band in his hair, she ran that hand through his crimson locks as she slowly ran the brush through his hair. She felt the tension slowly leaving her as she rhythmically brushed, and gloried that she could touch him like this.

Kenshin melted under her touch. Although he'd never thought she'd want to do this, it was something he'd dreamed of her doing. Of her fingers touching him in such an innocent way, yet in a way that was so intimate at the same time. Somewhere along the line she set the brush down, and began to gently massage his scalp with her fingers. He relaxed even more, sliding back to rest his head on her chest.

Kaoru almost lost her nerve as his head fell back to rest on her breasts, yet she was enjoying touching him so much that she let her fingers fall to his shoulders and continued to massage. She'd loved the feel of his muscles under her hands the other day, and found that caressing from this angle, where she could play with his back as well, made it even better. Yet she was still slightly nervous, and wasn't sure how to move beyond this point.

After minutes of delicious torture, of her hands running all over him, Kenshin said softly, "May I return the favor?"

Kaoru froze, then said slowly, "If you like."

Kenshin rose from the stool, turning to face her and kissing her gently, wanting her to get used to touching him as much as possible. He placed her gently on the stool, picked up her brush, and began brushing her hair out. Although he hated caring for his own hair, and left it long mostly because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, he found himself enjoying playing with hers. Much as she had done, he let his hands fall to her shoulders and massaged her gently.

"Wouldn't that be easier without my gi?"

Kenshin's hands froze, and he had to close his eyes for a moment and remind himself to breath. "That is up to you."

Kaoru slowly moved her hands to the ties of her gi, only to stop when his warm hands covered hers.

"Would you allow me?" Kenshin whispered in her ear, causing her to shudder.

Kaoru decided that this was the moment, and knew that whatever she said now would set the course for the rest of the night. "Only if I may help you out of yours."

Kenshin had to again remember to breath, and drew her to her feet to face him. Nodding his agreement, he slowly untied her gi, slid it out of her hakama, and drew it gently down her shoulders. Her breast bindings still covered her completely, yet the image was stunning. Unable to help himself, he ran his hands down her bare arms and felt gooseflesh form. "Are you cold?"

"Not at all." She whispered as his hands continued to caress over her arms and shoulders. She raised her hands to the ties of his gi, and hesitantly untied it. Kenshin let his hands drop to his sides as she slid the old gi off his shoulders and let it hit the floor, keeping his eyes locked on hers as her hands copied the movements he'd made on her.

"Remember, if you want this to stop, it does." Kenshin whispered as his hands slid down her sides, fingering the ties of her bindings.

"It's not fair to say that when you're touching me." Kaoru murmured, keeping her eyes on his as she led his hand to the ties of her bindings.

Kenshin smiled, and leaned in to kiss her even as he began to untie the cloth. When he had her fully unwrapped, he pulled her against his chest and held her to him.

Kaoru gasped as their naked flesh came into contact, and wrapped her arms tightly around him in return, resting her head on his shoulder. "I always feel safe in yours arms."

"Safe?" Kenshin murmured, drawing back and placing his hands on her shoulders. "And is that all you feel?" Keeping his eyes on her face, although the temptation to lower them was great, he ran his hands slowly down her front side, thumbs lightly brushing her nipples before his hands came to rest on her waist.

Her eyes slid shut as she moaned at even that light contact, then fluttered open to look at him again. "Can we get into the bath? Can you just hold me for now?" The uncertainly mixed with lust that he saw in her eyes made him want to protect her and ravish her all at once.

Kenshin pushed all that aside. "Let me go make sure the fire is warm enough while you wash, and then I will join you in the tub."

Kaoru sighed with relief. She didn't want this to end, yet at the same time wasn't ready to fully undress in front of him. He left to check the fire, and she filled the water buckets quickly, then undressed and washed herself before hopping into the tub.

"Kaoru?" He called out from the window a few minutes later.

"It's okay." She replied, "You can come in."

She heard him moving in the outer room a moment later, and sunk up to her chin in the water. Realizing he would be walking in naked, she shut her eyes hurriedly, and as a result was shocked at a sudden touch on her shoulder. Although she normally sensed him, she hadn't this time. He said nothing, and made no further move, and she realized quickly that Kenshin being Kenshin he was going to give her every opportunity to back out of this.

"Hold me." She whispered, scooting forward and pulling her knees up to rest her head on them. She felt the water move first, then felt him slid into the tub behind her, arms coming carefully around her.

She slowly relaxed against him, letting her back rest on his chest as her head slid back to rest on his shoulder. Her cheeks burned red with the knowledge that he could see all of her, but somehow keeping her eyes closed made her feel better about it.

And left her completely unprepared when his hands slid up to gently cup her breasts. "You are beautiful, koishii." Kenshin whispered in her ear.

"Arigato." She replied after a moment, unable to think of anything else to say. She settled more fully against him, questioning what was poking at her back but too shy to say anything "Is this okay? Just holding me?" She asked nervously as she rested her arms on his legs, which had come up on either side of her body.

"I've wanted to hold you forever." He whispered gently, dropping a kiss onto the side of her neck. "I would be willing to hold you forever."

"You make me feel like the most important woman in the world." Kaoru whispered drowsily, letting her eyes slid shut again as she kissed his shoulder lightly. "Like I'm living in a castle on a cloud, where nothing bad can ever happen to me."

"You are the most important person in the world." Kenshin whispered back, smiling into her hair as he felt her body relax against him. "Are you tired?"

"A little. It's been a long day." Kaoru said in an apologetic tone. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Kenshin chuckled. "Go to sleep, koishii. Dream about that castle."

Surrounded by his warmth and love, Kaoru drifted gently to sleep.

_OoOoOoOoO_

"_Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."_

_-Robert Heinlein_

_OoOoOoOoO_

**TBC…**

_Japanese/English Glossary (in order of appearance; if it's in the glossary of a previous part it will not be in here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory.)_

_Akai: Red_

_Demo: But…_

_Wakarimasu: I know, or I understand. Which one it means depends on the context, and in this case it works either way._

_Yukata: sleeping kimono, similar to an American robe except that it doubles as pajamas._

_Gi: The top half of a martial arts uniform._


	9. Jikoku

-1Disclaimer: If I owned it, the second OVA wouldn't have been allowed. That said, I obviously don't own it, Nobuhiro-san gets credit for all. I only play with them for fun.

All author's notes that matter are in the first chapter.

Gomen nasai for the long wait. It's December, I'm American, and I work in retail. That should say it all. I hope it was worth the wait, and please review.

Kokoro Kara

By Lady Calllista

Chapter 9 - Jikoku 

(set a few days after Megumi, Aoshi, and Misao leave, and Sano vanishes because the police are after him)

OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." -Erich Fromm

OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO

"Ohayoo." Kaoru called out as she came into the main room of the house a few hours after sunrise. Although it was just her, Kenshin, and Yahiko now, it still surprised her when she was greeted with silence. Kenshin was always awake at this hour, either cooking breakfast or doing one of the dozens of other chores that she was always neglecting.

"Ohayoo gozaimasu." She called out again, and after a moment went by in silence she concluded that no one else was in the house, or at least no one was awake. She wasn't surprised that Yahiko was still sleeping, and she didn't begrudge the boy his sleep, but she wondered about where Kenshin was. His door had been open about an inch when she walked by, which meant he wasn't there, for he never left the door open when he was sleeping. But if he wasn't there…

Irrationally worried now, she slipped out into the yard, slipping her hands into her kimono sleeves in defense against the cool spring air. "Kenshin, doko desu ka."

Receiving no reply, she moved rapidly into the dojo, repeating her question and becoming more and more concerned when there was no answer. She'd just moved back into the yard, unsure of what she was going to do, when she heard the squeak of the gate opening.

She spun to face the gate in a move that betrayed the fact that she'd had martial arts training; falling into a loose stance that although wouldn't look odd to a normal person would be obvious to anyone with similar training.

And was greeted by Kenshin's slightly abashed face.

"Kaoru, you up are early this morning." Kenshin smiled at her as he slowly walked closer.

"Where were you?" Kaoru's voice shook despite her efforts to control it, and she looked away quickly.

Kenshin used that opportunity to set down the groceries he was carrying before crossing to take her carefully into his arms. He still wasn't used to being able to do this without seeing the look on her face that said she was going to hit him with the nearest available object, which was somehow magically always her bokken.

"Sessha just went out to do some shopping, Sessha is sorry if Kaoru-dono was worried."

"Kenshin." Kaoru stressed his name. "Kenshin-sama is sorry if I was worried."

"I am sorry if Kaoru was worried." Kenshin relented. She'd discovered a wonderful way to get him to stop using the humble language he always used. She just switched to calling him with an honorific every time he used a humbleness, and the insanity of that made him pause and change his speech.

Although it did bother him, because especially with her he saw nothing wrong with referring to himself in a humble way, as she was such an amazing woman and he wasn't worthy of her, he knew it bothered her and so he was trying to stop.

Kaoru sighed, and closed her eyes for a moment. "Gomen. You may live here, but you don't have to account to me for every minute of your life. I just woke and couldn't find you…"

Kenshin closed the distance between them and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. "It's been so long since anyone has worried about me…arigato. Do you have plans for the day?"

"Well, Yahiko and I have a few hours of training soon, but nothing after that. I don't teach at the other dojo today, and…"

"Would you have lunch with me down by the river?" Kenshin said over her, knowing he had to speak before he lost his nerve. Although he knew he was her first relationship, she was only his second, and so much of the pressure was on the man for things like this that he wasn't sure he was in the better position. Especially since he'd had no real courtship with Tomoe-dono.

She flushed fetchingly, and looked down at her hands for a moment. He'd seen her naked; her cheeks grew brighter as she remembered the bath they'd taken together, where to her utter disappointment she'd been too tired to do anything but fall asleep in his arms. Yet little things like this still brought color to her face that she couldn't control.

"I would enjoy that." She smiled finally, and managed to look up at him. "Although you haven't said good morning properly yet."

Kenshin's eyes grew wide for a moment, and then he smirked as his hand reached up to cup her cheek. "Ohayoo." He whispered in a deep voice as he leaned in and kissed her gently.

Feeling slightly needy after not being sure where he was earlier, Kaoru opened her mouth and delved into a full fledged kiss with him before they both pulled away gasping. "Ohayoo, watashi no Kenshin."

"Ohayoo, aren't we training?" Yahiko's voice rudely interrupted the lovers. In his defense, he'd just walked out of the house and had yet to even see the two wrapped in each other's arms.

Not that it mattered to Kaoru. Having been interrupted when her emotions were so volatile, even though she doubted even Kenshin had noticed it, she took it out on her pupil. "Yahiko-chan!" She yelled as she crossed the yard.

Knowing how this would go, the boy ran, trying to avoid being hit by the bokken that was somehow now in her hand.

Kenshin only chuckled and went into the house to get the laundry.

OrOoRoOrOoRo

"What did you tell Yahiko?" Kaoru asked nervously as her and Kenshin walked toward the river a few hours later, lunch basket in hand.

"Just that we would be gone for a few hours, and I reinforced that you wanted the dojo clean by the time you came back." Kenshin smiled, yet couldn't keep a shadow of concern from his eyes over her worry over people knowing they were seeing each other. It made sense in many ways, after all she was single and her reputation had already suffered because she was living with several males. But it still bothered him a little bit, the fact that she didn't want even their friends to know they were seeing each other.

"Thank you." Kaoru replied, reaching out to link their hands. "I know it sounds silly, but it seems like every time things start going well for us, something interrupts. I just want to be alone with you for a few hours and not have to worry."

Kenshin smiled at that, and gripped her hand tighter. It was one of the things that amazed him most about her; without seeming to recognize his insecurities, she always managed to make them go away.

"I also look forward to being alone with you." He said gently, and was rewarded with a smile from her.

"Is this good?" She asked as they approached the river, the path they'd been walking happening to come to a fairly secluded bend of it.

"Hai." He said, releasing her hand to spread the blanket he'd been carrying on his arm and help her settle down onto it. "Arigato, for coming with me."

Kaoru settled down onto the blanket next to him. "Where else could I be that would make me this happy?" She said shyly.

Kenshin sighed deeply as he looked into her eyes, and spoke honestly. "How is it that you are here with me? How can I possibly deserve you?"

"I love you." Kaoru replied as she ignored the basket of food and lay down , daringly putting her head in his lap. "Isn't that enough?

Kenshin looked down at her, knowing his heart was in his eyes and not caring. "It is more than sessha deserves…" He put a finger to her lips before she could protest his word choice. "But at this moment I would not trade it for anything in the world."

Kaoru only smiled at him, and tilted her head up to receive his kiss.

OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO

"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did now know where he ended and she began." -Leo Totstoy

OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO

TBC…

AN: Yeah, I know not much happened and it's really short, but I figured you'd all rather know the story was still in my mind than get nothing. I can't guarantee they'll be more until January, as I work in retail and that means my life is currently an insane mess, but I'll try to get the next part out as soon as I can.

_Japanese/English Glossary (in alphabetical order, If it's in a former part it will not be here, as I trust my readers to have a good memory)_

_Jikoku: Time, as in a moment or instant_

_Doko desu ka: literally, Where be?, translation would be "Where are you?"_

_Watashi no: My, or mine. "Watashi no Kenshin" would mean "My Kenshin." Although I'm not sure if the phrase is used this way or not (with people), it sounds so cute._

_-chan: little; normally used with pets, very young children, or younger girls. Whenever Yahiko objects with the "don't call me little" it's because he's being called Yahiko-chan_


	10. Eni

Disclaimer: If I owned it, the second OVA wouldn't have been allowed. That said, I obviously don't own it, Nobuhiro-san gets credit for all. I only play with them for fun.

AN: Ah, the holidays are over. Hurray! Thanks for being patient with me, here's the chapter you've been waiting for.

The first bit is directly from the manga, to give a feel for where we are… It starts during the night when they go to meet Sano because he's leaving Japan…

Lemon warning

**Kokoro Kara**

By Lady Calllista

Chapter 10 - Eni

_OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO_

"_Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that's how I'll remember you. If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all."_

_-from an episode of Little House on the Prairie_

_OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO_

"Are you really going?" Kaoru asked tentatively as her and Yahiko came up to the boat. Kenshin hadn't made it down the steps yet.

"Yeah, but I'll try not to make it goodbye for good. Make a kid or two with Kenshin, and show them to me next time we meet." Sano grinned at the girl he thought of as a little sister, which of course meant he had to tease her one last time.

"Wh…Wh..What are you saying?" Kaoru turned beet-red and fumed at him.

"Don't be so modest." Sano laughed, setting the fishbone that was always between his teeth swinging up and down. Then, ignoring a still sputtering Kaoru, he turned to face Yahiko. "And Yahiko, you'll be in the way at the dojo, so leave. I left the Gorotsuki long house the way it was, you can have it."

"Hey!" Kaoru protested, only to be stopped by Kenshin placing a hand on her shoulder. He smiled at her gently as he passed her, and she missed Sano and Yahiko's next statements as everything other than Kenshin seemed to melt away.

"Sano…" Kenshin approached the man he considered one of his best friends. They locked eyes for a moment, then slapped hands without saying a word.

"I'm going." Sano turned, pushing the boat away from the pier.

"Right."

And to Kaoru and Yahiko's amazement, both men seemed perfectly content with that goodbye.

"It turned out just like you said it would, Kenshin." Kaoru said quietly as he moved back a little to stand beside her.

"Hmm?" Kenshin turned to look at her contemplative face, even as he considered what Yahiko was thinking as the boy continued to stare at Sano's back.

"You said that Megumi-san and Sanosuke and everyone else, would someday walk their own path leading to their separate lives. But you said that these are not goodbyes…they are not the end, but beginnings…So it is a little lonely, but we have to bear it." She looked into his eyes as she spoke, a light sheen in her own that said she wanted to cry but wasn't going to.

"Yes," Kenshin smiled at her as he took her hand in his own. "It is lonely, but we must bear it."

Kaoru smiled as she squeezed his hand, then spoke more loudly, "Yahiko-kun, are you ready to leave?"

"I'm just going to stay here for a little while." The boy spoke without turning around. "Then I think I'll spend the night in the house he just gave me. You two go on."

Kaoru was about to protest, but Kenshin spoke up first. "Have a good night, then."

"I will." Yahiko's voice was firm as he continued to stare out over the water.

Kenshin turned to leave, pulling Kaoru after him. "Let him be." He said gently to her. "This is as hard on him as it is on you, and while you don't want to be alone right now, you must respect that he does want to be."

"No, I don't want to be alone." Kaoru clutched his hand as they began the short walk back to her dojo. "It's not like I don't have other friends here, or like I can't make more, but Sano was special. Misao and Megumi too, we were all like family. And now even Yahiko won't be with me…"

"They're still our family, koishii." Kenshin replied as he shifted to put his arm around her shoulders. "Just because we won't see them every day doesn't make us all less of a family. And you'll never be alone. I will always be here for you."

Kaoru slid her arm around his back, pulling him even closer to her as they walked down the path to the dojo. "I love you."

"And I love you." Kenshin replied as he opened the gate for her, and then closed and locked it behind them. "Would you like some dinner? Or a bath?" He asked kindly.

"No, I just want to go to bed. It's been a long day." Kaoru replied, noticing immediately how he tensed up on the first part of her comment. She knew what he was thinking. They were alone at the dojo now, with no worries about being interrupted. "Will you come with me? I don't want to be alone tonight." She looked up at him with eyes that showed both nervousness and anticipation.

Kenshin stopped walking, and turned till they faced each other, which slid the hand that was around her shoulders to the nape of her neck. His other hand came up to ghost over her cheek. "You are certain?" He asked, knowing how big a step this was.

"Hai." Kaoru breathed as she leaned up and kissed him gently. "Please, stay with me tonight. Wake with me tomorrow."

Kenshin shuddered even as he kissed her back, pulling her to him in a fierce hug. He released her after a moment, keeping his arm around her as they walked into the house and straight to her bedroom.

It was Kaoru who slid the door back, and she ushered him into her room with a smile that was both sweet and hesitant. Kenshin walked in and went immediately to the closet and began to set up the futon. She joined him and they made the bed without speaking, then both stood, unsure of where to begin.

Finally, Kenshin approached her, cupping her face in his hands. "Is it only sleep you want tonight?" He asked gently, looking into her eyes. "Do you only want to be held?"

Kaoru shook her head, caught up in the power of his eyes. "I don't want sleep." She whispered finally, when it seemed he wouldn't move unless she spoke. "I want you."

Kenshin shuddered as his eyes slid shut, and when he opened them again Kaoru saw the burning flecks of amber beginning to manifest. "Always remember that if you want this to stop, it does." He whispered, his voice already gone deep. Then without further comment he leaned in and kissed her hungrily.

Kaoru found herself pulled against him so tightly she could barely breath, yet clutched at him just as tightly as their tongues dueled with each other. She let her hands wander over his arms after a moment, as fascinated with the play of muscles as she had been the first time she'd done this. And since he was moving now, not just sitting placidly receiving her caress, she got to feel the muscles bunch and flex impressively as his arms shifted and his hands moved over her back.

She was almost lost in the sensations of his kiss when she felt his hands catch the sides of her obi bow and freeze. Kaoru broke the kiss and pulled back to look into his face. She'd never seen that combination of passion and tenderness in anyone before, and seeing it on his face now gave her the courage to reach her own arms behind her back and guide his hands into how to untie the bow. And when it released he simply dropped it, causing the partially unwrapped garment to slid down her body until it hit the floor.

Kenshin slid his hands down to her waist and picked her up easily, lest she trip on the length of cloth still wrapped around her feet. He spun around and set her next to the futon, using his hands to gently part her kimono and let it slid down her shoulders, leaving her clad only in the plain light green hiyoku.

Although her cheeks heated as she was slowly disrobed, Kaoru kept her eyes locked on Kenshin's, and reached out to help him out of his gi. She let it slide down his arms exactly as he had done with her, and gently caressed the skin revealed.

Kenshin's eyes grew even hotter as she touched him, and he had to remind himself to take things slowly. Still, the urge to see her naked before him was strong, and he pulled her into a kiss even as he untied the belt of her hiyoku and slid it off of her.

Kaoru gasped into his mouth as the slightly chilly air of the room hit her now exposed flesh, and he responded by pulling her body tightly against him, molding her to him until she wasn't sure where she stopped and he started. The feel of naked flesh on naked flesh was amazing, and almost without thought her hands went to the ties of his hakama, unfastening them so that the last garment between them joined the pile on the floor.

Kenshin groaned as they pressed against each other, and slowly urged her down until they were both on the futon, still wrapped around each other and kissing for all they were worth. He slowly gave his hands free reign, and was rewarded with gasps and shudders as he slowly explored her body and taught her the wonders of making love. His lips soon followed his hands, and by the time he slid a finger lightly over her core she was already wet and aching for him.

Kaoru gasped, then almost sobbed when he finally touched her where she most wanted him to. Her hands clenched at his back as the finger slid slowly inside of her, and she sobbed out his name, feeling like her body was flying apart and not knowing what do to about it.

Kenshin lowered his lips to her chest, sucking slightly roughly on one peaked nipple even as he began to move the finger that was inside her back and forth slowly, then more rapidly, over the spot that seemed to give her the most pleasure.

Kaoru's hands slid from him to clench the futon, and her body arched as his hands and mouth played his magic on her. And just when she felt like she couldn't take it any longer, a warmth gushed up from her belly and her world exploded.

Kenshin looked up at her face as she flew over the peak, awed at the beauty before him, then quickly settled himself between her legs and pushed in. He heard her gasp even louder, but it didn't seem to be with the pain he knew this would have caused her. She was still flying so high the pain didn't seem to have registered, which was what he had hoped would happen.

Kaoru felt the ache of pressure between her legs, and by the time she managed to start breathing again and slid her eyes open, knew it was because he was inside of her. After their night in the bath, she'd hesitantly spoken to Tae of what went on between a man and a woman, and she knew it should have hurt and was relieved that it hadn't. All she saw when she opened her eyes was Kenshin's violet ones, looking at her with more love than she'd ever imagined.

"Kaoru, are you okay?" He asked gently.

Her reply was to throw her arms around him and flex her hips slightly. "I never knew anything could feel this amazing." She whispered in reply.

Kenshin smiled and shifted his hips a bit, watching her as her eyes shone even brighter. "You are so beautiful." He whispered as he slid out of her slightly, then back in gently. Watching her eyes and face as he braced himself over her, Kenshin set a gentle rhythm that left both of them quivering from sensations. And when she peaked again, when he watched her face go slack with pleasure, he gave in to his desires and pushed himself into her harder, crying out her name as he flew over the edge with her.

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

"_To caress her body and touch her soul, for together two become a whole. _

_The love they make is deep and true, and in this embrace their love renew. _

_When all is done and all's been said, upon her breasts he rests his head. _

_And hears her heart beat for him alone. A greater love, he's never known."_

_From "Angel and her Lover" a poem by Kathy P._

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

AN: Was it worth the wait?

_Glossary: (alphabetical, if it's in a previous part it will not be here.)_

_Eni: Fate, destiny (as in the mysterious force binding two people together)_

_Hiyoku: an "under-kimono" if you will; if you look at the neckline of almost anyone in period kimono you will see a plain color of a second piece of clothing underneath the main kimono. This was called a hiyoku, and today would only be used on very formal occasions, although it was once the norm. Traditionally it was styled exactly the same as a kimono, but would normally be a solid color and possibly a less expensive material. _


	11. Ai

Disclaimer: If I owned it, the second OVA wouldn't have been allowed. That said, I obviously don't own it, Nobuhiro-san gets credit for all. I only play with them for fun.

AN: Wow, um… so I haven't written in so long I hope you haven't forgotten about me. Here's the end… I'm not sure if it's worth the wait and I may be tinkering with it, but the writing bug finally bit me and I wanted to get this up. It's short and sweet.

**Kokoro Kara**

By Lady Callista

Chapter 11 - Ai

_OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO_

_Seduce my mind and you can have my body, Find my soul and I'm yours forever. _

_OrOoRoOrOoRoOrO_

Kaoru slid slowly towards wakefulness, her mind still sluggish. It took her a moment to register the aches of her body, and then another moment to remember their cause. The warmth pressed along her back, cocooning her in the scent of sandalwood and man, helped her remember, and she went unnaturally still. She was more nervous now than she'd been the night before, when her and Kenshin had finally made love. How was she to act around him now? How could she look at him without seeing him naked, with that magnificent body covering hers? How…

"Ohayoo gozaimasu, koishii." A sleep-roughened whisper breezed past her ear. Kenshin had been awake for some time now, relishing the feeling of just being with her. Of holding her in his arms and knowing he could do so again. He'd known she was awake the instant her breathing changed, and wondered why her energy had shifted to nervousness. "Are you alright?"

"Ohayoo. I woke with your arms around me." He heard the smile in her voice, although he still sensed a hesitation. "How could I be anything but wonderful?"

"You feel worried." Kenshin offered gently, sliding the arm that had been around her waist up and down her hip in a gesture meant to sooth. He knew he was being a little intrusive, but after what had happened the night before he felt he had a right to be, since whatever was worrying her probably concerned him as well.

Kaoru took a breath, cursing for the first time his ability to read energy and emotions. The hand that was caressing her hip didn't help her concentrate. "I guess I'm just not sure what to say." She offered finally, knowing he would call her on it.

"About what?" He asked as he dropped a kiss on her shoulder before asking carefully, "Do you wish we had not…"

"Iie." She cut him off and turned in his arms until she could stare into his violet eyes. Eyes that now held caution and concern. Berating herself for putting those emotions there, she caressed his scarred cheek. "I have no regrets. I love you and you made last night beautiful for me. I just never knew I could feel so much… I feel like I'm the happiest person in the world, like I'm flying through the skies and may never come down. But then I think we're not married, so we shouldn't have, but then I don't care because I want to do it again, but then I wonder what you see in me, I mean I'm so young and I didn't really know what I was doing, and then I wonder how I can ever look at you again without seeing you naked, and then I'm back to we shouldn't have, because anyone who sees us together will know by how I look at you, and oh gods just make me stop babbling…" Kaoru wailed the last as she finally realized what she'd been saying and buried her head in his chest.

His chest which was shaking with what could only be laughter. He was laughing at her!

Kaoru lifted her head enough to glare at him, and was about to speak again when he kissed her gently.

"Let me see if I followed all of that." Kenshin said, managing to stop laughing. She'd never been more wonderful to him. "I love you as well, and am glad I could show that to you. If you're flying I'm right there with you, because for not knowing what you were doing you somehow managed to make last night the best night of my life. Anyone who sees us together will see that we love each other, which according to our friends has been obvious for some time now. I enjoy the thought of you picturing me naked," Now Kenshin's grin came back, "because I will be doing the same with you. I would have no objection to repeating what happened last night, as often as you like, and although I wanted to do this in a different way I will put your mind at ease now by asking if you will let me stay here with you, always." His voice grew serious again as he caressed her cheek. "Will you allow to me always love and take care of you? To have a family with you?"

Kaoru's eyes grew huge as her heart lodged in her throat. Although she'd known on one level that they would marry sooner or later, that they were meant to, she'd never been able to erase that grain of doubt that one day he would feel the need to become rurouni again. That one day he would leave her. But if he was willing to take vows…she knew he would never break them. Never leave her. A tear slipped down her face as he whispered to her.

"Kaoru, will you marry me?"

The tears burst forth as she managed to say yes before burying her head in his chest again and sobbing tears of joy.

His arms came around her and held her lovingly.

"I'm sorry." She managed as she pulled away, kissing him softly before adding, "I was just afraid you would never ask me."

"You must forgive me for making you think that." Kenshin replied, then decided to be honest. "I was simply afraid you might say no."

"How could you think that?" Kaoru wasn't sure if she was amused or exasperated, and settled for bopping him gently on the head.

"For the longest time it was because sessha felt no one could love him after what he'd done." He held up a hand before she could yell at him. "You made me see myself in a new light, by seeing me the way you did, but even after we visited Tomoe-dono and began growing closer I was worried. Even after everything you'd said to me, even knowing you loved me, I was afraid. Because my life has never been happy. I was afraid to ask you to marry me because that would make my life perfect, and every time my life has been even close to perfect something has come along and destroyed it."

Kaoru's heart shuddered at the simple words, and she pulled him in until his head pillowed on her chest. His arms wrapped around her and held on. "Your life won't be perfect. No ones life can be. But our lives will be better together than apart, and that is all that matters in the end." She held him for a moment, caressing his hair gently, then asked, "So what gave you the courage to finally ask?"

She felt his grin. "I could hardly allow you to have my child without being married to me."

Laughing now, she hit him softly on the arm. "So on the small chance that one night, one time, got me with child…"

"Ah, but you see, now that I have touched you in this way, I wish to do so again. And often." Kenshin was laughing with her now, the last of his worries chased away by her wise words.

"Not until we're married." She managed to say primly before she melted under the touch of his mouth on her breast. "Well okay, once more."

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

"_I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. _

_I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. _

_I love you for the part of me that you bring out."_

_Elizabeth Barrett Browning_

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

_**THE END**_

AN: AHHH!! It's finally up! I'm finally done! I'd like to thank everyone for their kind remarks, their helpful critiques, and their patience.

I'm not sure what I'll be writing next; I've still got a Buffy fic or two to get up here, I have ideas for another Kenshin fic, and I'm thinking of branching out into Inuyasha. Or possibly Furuba. Stay tuned…

_Glossary: (alphabetical, if it's in a previous part it will not be here.)_

_Ai: Love_


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